Although things have been going quite well with Carter, I had a little twinge of sadness this morning. As I browsed through facebook reading about what everyone else’s kids are up to, I couldn’t help but to be a little sad for the little things that Carter misses out on. Carter doesn’t look forward to tossing the ball outside with his dad. He doesn’t stand by the window anticipating his dad’s arrival. He doesn’t tell his dad that he wants to go outside and play football. The way he tells us that he wants to go outside is by taking our hand and dragging us to the back door. He does have a good time outside, running around, jumping on the trampoline, and swinging his arms around in true autistic style.
Carter doesn’t tell us about his day at school either. He can’t tell us something funny that happened or turn a really short story into a long drawn out discussion that you don’t bother listening to after a while (you know the one-when you just nod). He can’t tell us what he learned or the fun he had that day. I have to find out about Carter’s day from other people. It was either a good day or a bad day. Even then, I don’t know how he feels or what goes through his mind.
I can’t take Carter to a pool without him freaking out first, or to a birthday party. You won’t see him running around with the other kids enjoying their company. Other kids come up to me and ask me, “Why won’t Carter play with me?” I usually just have to tell them that Carter just likes to play by himself. This is normally followed by the ever infamous, “why?”—-sigh.
Carter doesn’t have any special interests other than books, puzzles, and movies. Believe me, I love Carter just the way he is, but I sometimes feel that he’s just missing out on being like some of the other kids. The kind of kid who’s just all about having fun. The kind of kid who wants to sword fight and play baseball. The kind of kid who wants to watch football with his dad or ride a bike. The kind of kid who wants to go to a movie theatre or play pretend. I hope that he eventually does start picking up some of these characteristics. I know that to him he’s having a good time. But I want to see him experience and enjoy everything about being a kid without the difficulties of autism.