My Daily Dose of Autism

“Hey, do you wanna play hide-n-seek?”

This is a question a little boy asked Carter at the playground today.  The response? None.  Of course Carter didn’t even comprehend what the little boy asked him.  Carter doesn’t know anything about playing hide-n-seek with other kids.  He just runs around on his own and has a good time.  I waited for the boy to come and ask me something about Carter, but thankfully he didn’t.  Sometimes I just don’t feel like explaining why Carter doesn’t talk or why he makes that noise or why he doesn’t want to play with others.

There were about 10 kids at the playground at one point.  They were all running around, sliding on the slides, and climbing all over.  I was the only parent there.  I was the only parent watching every move my kid made.  Sometimes I wish I were more like those parents.  More at ease, more relaxed.  I just can’t be one of those parents who let’s their kids roam around, especially on a playground.  I have issues.  I’m overprotective, insecure, nervous, and super cautious.  Especially with Carter.  He doesn’t know any better.  I’m going to say that it’s a good thing I am always watching, because I noticed Carter playing around an ant pile.  He was actually bending down and looking at them smiling.  When I went to get him, he had a couple of ants on his shoes.  He definitely wouldn’t have been smiling for long if I wasn’t watching him.

I’m the same with Vanessa and she’s 12.  I don’t want her to ride her bike around the neighborhood and I’m always worried about her getting hurt.  All of this worrying causes me so much stress and anxiety!

Time for this mom to relax and unwind.  If that’s even possible-I even worry at night while the kids are sleeping.  I worry about Carter having one of his nose bleeds, I worry about him being too hot or too cold, I worry about being woken up because one of them are sick.  Worry, worry, worry.  Sigh!


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