Please say yes to a dress

Appointments complete! For today at least.  And what a day it was.

Dress shopping was pretty stressful and tiring.  Dress after dress.  Detail after detail.  So many options.  No wonder I put it off for so long.  There were so many nice dresses and I can see how easy it can be to get swept up in all the wedding hype.  The idea of trying on all those dresses to find “the one.” It’s a tough job.  The fabrics, the beading, the lace, the patterns, the tulle, the styles, the details, the prices, there’s a lot going on.  The pressure to find your dress and pray that it isn’t a mistake.  That there isn’t a better option somewhere else.  A less pricey option.

I went to three wedding boutiques today and they were pretty different from each other.

The first place we went to was nice to start off.  The woman helping me was nice.  There were some good options in my budget, but I didn’t feel like I got much help or advice.  I did end up with 2 dresses on my list to choose from.  One being out of my price range after adding the crazy $250 rush fee as well as the taxes and alteration estimates. So far I wasn’t very optimistic.

Getting started!

I actually had a couple of hours before my next appointment, so we went and had some lunch.  Instead of opting for a nice, light, healthy lunch, we ended up at Dat Dog stuffing our faces with hot dogs and fries.  Total indulgence.  I definitely paid for it during the next two appointments.  Suddenly, my stomach wanted to come out to be a part of the wedding dress fun.  It was tough to hide.

So bad it’s good!

My second appointment was definitely interesting.  All the dresses there were below my budget, but you could definitely tell why.  The material of the dresses and the fit definitely didn’t match the more expensive dresses from my first appointment.  The woman helping me was also saying some of the weirdest stuff.  I’m not sure if she just wanted me to buy something or if she was just being herself.  At one point she was explaining that the top of my dress would be “kissing me” after I had it altered.  And she said it over and over.

“It’s not going to look like this.  It’s going to kiss you right here. See what I mean?” she said as she pressed the dress into my chest. “It’s just going to kiss you.  So right here won’t be so spacious because it’s going to kiss you.”

Okay, I get it.  It’s going to be fitted to my body. Just stop saying it’s going to kiss me.

I had a hard time looking at anyone directly in their eyes because I knew I would laugh.  I’m sorry, the dress is going to kiss me? Maybe that’s some kind of wedding dress talk.  I don’t know.

Another thing that bothered me was if I didn’t like a dress I would be asked what I didn’t like about it, why didn’t I like it, what did I mean by that, etc, etc, etc. Then I was asked to explain it more.

“What do you mean you don’t like the sleeves? What don’t you like about them?” the other lady working there asked me.  She seemed annoyed that I would actually say I didn’t like something. I mean that I don’t effing like them.  That’s what I wanted to say.  After constantly explaining why I didn’t like a particular detail and being asked if I would like it if something were changed and being told to imagine certain details about the dress looking different when I purchase it and being told the one I actually did like wasn’t available, I was just ready to get out of there.  That place was just all wrong for me.

Diving in to appointment #2

Off to my third and final appointment for the day.  Luckily, right down the street.  This boutique was nice.  The dresses started right under my budget.  I immediately thought I would have a small selection to choose from and wouldn’t find anything I liked, so I wasn’t very optimistic.  Already expecting an epic fail, I started in on the dresses.  Surprisingly, I had a nice little selection within my price range.  I was actually getting excited.  Too bad my entourage was the opposite.  I tried not to be offended and think I was boring them since they looked so tired and were constantly yawning.  Perhaps they were just sleepy from our big lunch.

The first dress I tried on was amazing.  It did amazing things to my body.  And in my price range! However, it was a bit on the “sexy” side for me.  The next dress was also amazing.  And guess what? In my price range! Now we’re getting somewhere.  So on to the next dress and no matter what, we always seemed to compare it to the first two.  Maybe I should have saved those for last. The lady who was helping me was actually very helpful.  She made me feel much better and she was just really good at doing her job.  She wasn’t blowing smoke up my butt or telling me what I wanted to hear or asking me all sorts of questions.  And she wasn’t saying anything weird. Bonus!

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I’ll say that I think I found “the dress” at this place.  I do have another appointment on Saturday, so I don’t want to commit to anything just yet.  The dress that I love staying in my budget depends on alterations that will be needed.  Fingers crossed that it won’t be too much.  I still feel some type of way about spending this kind of money for a wedding dress that will really serve no purpose after the wedding, but I also felt some type of way being in the dress.  Which was a different style than I was originally going for.


During this dress shopping excursion, I learned a few things.

Lesson 1: my thoughts on “my style” of dress were quickly tossed out the window. After trying on what I thought was going to be so me, I discovered that I was going more towards what I thought I couldn’t wear or didn’t want to wear.  I will say that I do not love the look of the mermaid style.  Too much dramatic flair for me.  Same goes for the Disney princess ball gown look.  Just not my style.  I discovered a wonderful style that I didn’t even know existed called The Trumpet.  And after not wanting anything strapless, I did try on several strapless dresses that were quite flattering.  Go figure.

Lesson 2: Just because a dress has a price tag within my budget doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay in my budget.  Of course I had forgotten about tax, alterations, and a rush fee (damn my procrastination).  Finding out alterations alone can cause my budget to be over several hundred dollars was enough to cause a lump in my throat.  I just can’t stand the thought of spending thousands of dollars on a dress that I will wear for less than a day.  I remember an episode of Say Yes to the Dress where the girl just started crying after she found a dress she loved for $7,500 and felt so guilty about taking that money from her dad to buy the dress.  I don’t blame her.  I wanted to cry at the thought of spending $2500 for a dress I found.  I just always think about what else I can spend that money on.  A family vacation, down payment for a new car, savings, anything else but a dress!

Lesson 3: Don’t eat a giant hot dog and cheese fries before trying on dresses. Boy what an unflattering look that bloat caused.  It also made me even more tired.  And it did the same to my dress spectators.  I came out in one of my favorite dresses.  A form fitted, very flattering dress that I knew was a good one.  I strutted towards them feeling very confident and….

they both yawned.


Wow.  I guess I wasn’t that spectacular.  Even though they were just soooooo tired, I was like hey, your timing is completely horrible.  Yawning as soon as I come out.  Perk up ladies! Because I was definitely spectacular!

This wedding dress shopping was an interesting experience for me.  I literally laughed at seeing myself in a wedding dress.  Add the veil and I was cracking up.  Me in a wedding dress? Never thought I’d see it.  I just wasn’t the biggest fan of having a wedding. And I’ll say that I’m still not. I escaped it for many years.  I’ll have to tell the story of how it all caught up with us in another post.

Until next time……….